You and your partner have been shackin’ up for a while now. You’ve introduced each other to your vinyl record collections, you’ve Sharpied each other’s names on a few bathroom stalls and you’re sharing your streaming TV passwords.
Things are going fantastic, and you want to keep the momentum up and the vibes strong.
Try some bonding games! A little fun here and there can add some spice to your Enchufa on your salsa dance class nights!
HOW CAN GAMES HELP YOU BOND AS A COUPLE?
Studies have confirmed that forming attachments involves the hormone oxytocin. In addition, they have shown that this “cuddle hormone” can increase trust and has a calming effect — decreasing stress, anxiety and fear; when couples do recreational activities together, oxytocin levels are elevated.
In this blog, we’re offering couples ideas for games to play without anything needed in the way of cards or playing boards or dice. These games can be played anywhere, any time with minimal pieces and set up.
1. THE FLOOR IS LAVA
DON’T FALL IN…. to the trap of thinking this is just a children’s game. It’s been around for a few decades and has been adopted for living rooms, urban streetscapes and even TV studios, in the case of the hilarious Netflix series.
We’re sure you’ve heard of it, but if not, the premise is simple: Spread couch cushions, chairs and other household items out on the ground and pretend the floor is “lava” as you make your way from point A to point B. You lose if you touch the lava or fall in.
It’s a good one to play when you’re stuck inside on a rainy afternoon and, like Twister, it might get you tangled up and ready for more adult games.
2. TWO TRUTHS & A LIE
This one is fun for getting to know each other better. It’s all about sharing facts about yourself and learning about each other.
To play, one person has to give three statements about themselves. Two of them are true statements and the third is a lie. The listener then has to guess which one is the lie. The facts and the lie can be anything you choose.
There are no other rules in this game of deception. If you want to win, try making your facts sound like lies and your lies sound like things that are true about you.
Word of Caution: We do not encourage telling lies to your partner, your tax attorney or your grandmother. Lies are bad, and cover-ups could get you in hot water. In the context of this game, totally ok. Otherwise? NO!
3. NEVER HAVE I EVER
It’s fun to share life experiences and talk about things you’ve done or places you’ve been with your partner, but learning what you haven’t done can be just as informative and entertaining. It might also open up whole new worlds to the both of you if you use this game to share your fantasies, dreams and wishes.
Here’s how to play:
Make a statement that starts with “Never Have I Ever” and then add something interesting. For example: gone skydiving, cheated on a test, visited the Grand Canyon, been written up by HR, gambled in Las Vegas… whatever fun non-fact you can come up with.
Then see if your partner’s answer matches. If they’ve also never done that thing, then you can add it to a list of fun things to do together.
Finding things in common and discovering your differences will help you bond as a couple so that when you’re ready to get married, the decision will be more about how you’ve spent the time together and things you’ve gotten to truly understand about each other.
4. WOULD YOU RATHER
Something tells us this game is a favorite of The Late Show host Stephen Colbert. He uses it as a joke construct fairly often. But you don’t have to have a full staff of professional writers like Colbert to have fun with this game.
To play, start by posing the question “Would you rather…” to your partner, and then insert two choices.
Maybe to get started, you ask about eating chocolate or vanilla ice cream… Or would you rather go to a rock concert or a Broadway show? You’ll learn a lot about likes and dislikes playing this game. If your answers match, you can enjoy sharing “so would I” moments.
Would You Rather can also instigate laughs if you decide to make it about two undesirable things. For example, would you rather have to live with 500 crickets you can see or 1 tarantula you can’t find?
The questions can be thoughtful, silly or completely hypothetical and are oftentimes a little absurd. The idea is to get you talking, sharing, laughing and connecting over the answers.
5. THIS OR THAT
This one is similar to, but a little different from, Would You Rather. Instead of goofy scenarios, the choices are between actual items you have preferences about. For instance:
Underwear style: Boxers or Briefs?
Movie genre: Horror or Comedy?
Malt beverages: Four Loko Jungle Juice or Seagram’s Escapes Jamaican Me Happy? (maybe it’s the guava that tastes like apple to me)
Pro golf tours: PGA or LIV?
Relaxing activities: Doing some downward dog or chilling to Snoop Dogg albums?
Great cars: ‘57 Chevy or the new Volkswagen ID.Buzz?
Baseball players/gamblers: Pete Rose or Shohei Otani?
The possibilities are endless. You can compare and contrast the merits of the options as they come up if you’d like, which may lead to other engaging conversations.
6. HIDE & SEEK
The storage space under your bed. The attic. The shed in the backyard. The backseat of the car. Behind the shrubs in the backyard.
Start by hiding in spots around the house to evade the seeker — when one of you finally picks under the covers in the bedroom, you know the game has reached its climax and it’s time for another physical activity. Surely you can guess what that would be, right?
This game gets harder the older you get. It can be a real challenge stuffing yourself into the toy chest or the linen closet if you’ve lost some flexibility in the last few years! But imagine the laughs you’ll elicit if you pull it off.
7. TRUTH OR DARE
Do you remember the first time you played Truth or Dare? Every teenager does it at some point and, as long as you keep the dares safe, legal and friendly, there’s no harm in resurrecting it as adults.
Unlike the teenage version you likely played at a slumber party, or in study hall, the adult version can be a bit deeper, more meaningful and give you and your partner ways to grow as a couple.
Take turns offering your partner the choice to answer a question truthfully or to complete a dare.
If they say “truth,” you’ll get to know something about them that maybe you’ve always wanted to know. If they say “dare,” you’ll learn how far they can push the boundaries of craziness.
Either way, you’ll be getting to know your partner better.
8. STARING CONTEST
This one is exactly as the name sounds. Start staring at each other and keep score by seeing who blinks first.
This one works for helping couples bond and science proves it, as long as some of that staring time is spent gazing and thinking rather than just trying to concentrate on not blinking.
When two people gaze into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, they can develop deeper trust and greater intimacy and mutual attraction.
Several studies have shown that eye-gazing brings couples closer and ultimately enhances sex, because extended eye-gazing releases compounds in the brain associated with long-term bonding and attachment.
Here’s the science behind it: prolonged eye contact spurs the nervous system to release oxytocin as well as phenylethylamine, which is called the “love chemical,” a neurotransmitter involved in feelings of interpersonal attraction.
There’s no guarantee that this little exercise will bring you closer. For some people, it doesn’t. But most couples find that eye gazing reduces interpersonal tensions and increases feelings of attraction.
9. 20 QUESTIONS & CHARADES
These trivia-style games, in which the objective is to guess what the other person is thinking of, might not be an obvious bonding game.
But if all the answers are shared memories, things you want to do in the future or your partner’s favorite personality trait, then it could make for a good way to open up and get more in tune with each other.
Maybe you could play 20 Questions while doing another bonding activity, such as going on a hike or while driving through Nebraska on a road trip. (That’s right, you’re boring Nebraska, don’t deny it.)
It will help pass the time and give you things to talk about, which will help strengthen your relationship. The more you talk, the better.
10. I WENT TO MARKET & THE CATEGORY GAME
Both of these games are designed to test your recall and memory skills. Like Charades and 20 Questions, they can be good time-killers and, if you stick to things that define your relationship, then they can both be good bonding games as well.
I Went to Market is a short term memory challenge in which you try to see how long a string of fictitious items you “bought” at the market can get. You take turns going back and forth adding another item to your shopping list haul, and whoever can’t remember one of the items first loses the round.
If you want to switch things up you can specify which type of “market” you went to. A flea market, Whole Foods Market, cannabis dispensary, the Fortnite item shop, Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop, IKEA…. You choose!
The Category Game is a quick recall sort of game in which one person names a category and then you take turns naming a thing that belongs in that category.
So if your category was “Things Under Our Christmas Tree Last Year,” you take turns naming things in rapid fire succession and the first person to not have an answer loses the round.
Other potential categories could be, “Fun Dates We’ve Been On,” “Movies We’ve Seen in Theaters Together,” or “Vacations We’ve Taken Together.” Trips down memory lane can be very beneficial for bonding.
11. FORTUNATELY UNFORTUNATELY
This one can be just plain silly fun. Together you tell a story back and forth line by line. Begin the story with a line such as, “Once upon a time there was a motorcycle mechanic named Snake that worked in a garage across the street from an artisan coffee shop in Brooklyn.” It can be anything, you just need a beginning.
The second person then adds to the story with a line designed to throw the next person off, make them laugh or improve the character’s lot in life, something along the lines of “Fortunately, Snake had a good set of tools, lots of bikes coming and going from his shop and a good parts supplier from Detroit.” YAY SNAKE! Let’s root for Snake.
The story then comes back to the first person who adds the unfortunate turn of events that come next. “Unfortunately, the owner of the coffee shop added a new all-you-can-eat bacon wrapped donut tower to his lunch menu and now the lines are down the block and people are blocking Snake’s driveway!”
It might be good to take turns starting the story once the first one leads to a conclusion so that one person isn’t always the doomsayer and the other not always the one filled with rainbows. Either way, hilarity ensues.
12. TRACE MESSAGES
This one actually requires some equipment: your finger and your partner’s skin. It could be their forearm, across their back or somewhere more kinky, you choose.
One person thinks of a word or phrase and then they “write” the word/phrase on their partner’s skin. Then the partner has to guess it, either letter by letter, word by word or all together at the end, you decide. Make the messages or phrases cute, intimate and loving and first and then get a little more raunchy!
You could also “draw” shapes or emojis. “I love you” or a heart is a good place to start, and you can get more complicated or graphic from there.
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Bonding with your partner and strengthening your relationship should be an enjoyable thing. Just because these games don’t require game pieces or decks of cards doesn’t mean they are played with nothing. You’re playing with each other, and that counts for a lot.
