By the time it’s your turn to get married, chances are you’ve sat through dozens of mundane wedding ceremonies.
You can probably recite the standard wedding vows in unison with the newlyweds from start to finish without putting down your Nintendo Switch.
But that’s not happening at your wedding ceremony.
In my new list of alternative wedding vows, you’ll find the words that express your love in a unique, personal and meaningful way.
Feel free to use these word-for-word or alter them to suit your special brand of love.
And if you don’t see what you’re looking for in the vows here, check out my first edition list of alternative vows.
Nerdy Wedding Vows
1 – I love you more than there are Klingons at a Star Trek convention. You mean more to me than my entire collection of 3-D printed action figures. And I promise to love you and keep you until the mountains crumble to the sea, or Rick finds the McDonald’s Szechuan sauce, whichever comes first.
2 – When I met you, I knew you were the “Link” to my “Princess Zelda.” When we first kissed it felt like striking Ganon with the Silver Arrow. And because you can collect the fragments of the Triforce with the wisdom of the best nerds I know, you’ll always be my player one.
3 – I love you because you’re as nerdy as me. I love you because you have the biggest library card fine I’ve ever seen. I love you because your SAT verbal is in the top one fifth of the upper quartile. And I love you because if nothing else, you can totally fill a hole on my trivia team.
Edgy Wedding Vows
1 – Life is lived on the edge. You push me to the brink, and pull me back before I fall over. You make me push the boundaries when they need to be, and you reign me in when I’ve gone over the limit. I’ll always love you and want you to be there when I go too far or not far enough.
2 – There’s more to you than meets the eye. Though there’s an awful lot to look at. Rawwwwrrr! You are the best thing that ever climbed on the back of my bike. You love me despite my flaws and my arrest record. You’ve always been the first one to call me out for my BS. And I look forward to the days when we’re old and gray because your hair will match the chrome on my hot rod.
Modern Versions of Traditional Wedding Vows
1 – I, (First name), take you (Partner’s first name)
To be my wedded partner
To have and to hold from this day forward
For better or for worse
For richer or for poorer
In sickness and in health
To love and to cherish
Till death do us part
2 – I, ______ , take you, ______, to be my forever soulmate, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part — and for as long as BitCoin is still being mined.
Non-Religious Versions of Traditional Wedding Vows
1 – I, ______ , take you, to be my (wife/husband/partner), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you; and I will try with you to better understand ourselves, the world and our community, through the best and worst of what is to come, and as long as we live.
2 – Let us have a nourishing diet, avoiding foods injurious to healthy living.
Let us develop physical and mental powers.
Let us increase our wealth.
Let us acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.
Let us be blessed with strong children.
Let us love each other for eternity.
Finally, let us be true companions and remain lifelong partners.
Casual Wedding Vows
1 – On this day, I give you my heart. I promise that I will walk with you, hand in hand, wherever our journey leads us. Together. Forever.
2 – Today we start the biggest adventure of our lives. I know it will be really hard, and some days will take a lot of work. But I also know that there will be days filled with love, laughter and pure bliss. I can’t imagine sharing this adventure with anyone else. You’re my best friend, the love of my life and my soulmate. Today I promise to stand by your side and to love you always.
3 – You are my best friend. I pledge to honor, encourage and support you. When things get difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that together we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you.
Playful Wedding Vows
1 – As I give you my heart I ask for your worst — give me your bad hair days, your long commutes, your burnt coffee, lost keys, stained shirt, annoying coworkers, lost receipts, broken microwave. Give me your everyday troubles, and I will give you my love to make everything feel better.
2 – I will always love you and with our best friends and family as witness, I promise: to cheer you on and clap loudly when you sing karaoke. I promise to introduce you to food groups other than Honey Nut Cheerios. I promise to remind you of our wedding anniversary at least two days before it happens. And I promise to hate the same people on “Celebrity Big Brother” as you do.
…You May Now Kiss The Rebel
Couples have been reciting wedding vows to each other for thousands of years.
The well-worn version from the Church of England has been around since at least 1549, when the services were compiled from many sources by Thomas Cranmer and added to the Book of Common Prayer.
We’ve come a loooonnng way since then — nowadays anything goes! Thank effing god.
If you’re the rebellious type that tosses traditions aside, I know you’ll love the micro wedding and elopement packages I’ve put together for couples just like you.
