Unlike in the movies, the story doesn’t end when you ride off into the sunset after saying “I do.” The Hollywood ending is just the beginning of your relationship together and it’s important to remember the commitment you made to each other.
One way to keep the lines of communication open and to strengthen your loving bonds is to play some games. Video games work surprisingly well, as do board games and card games, but for the deepest of bonds try the exercises that are designed to get the conversation flowing freely, honestly and without judgment. When you share feelings, likes and dislikes, beliefs, dreams and goals and life philosophy (and can understand where these thoughts are coming from), your bond will grow stronger and your love will go deeper.
If you do choose video games, just try to pick two player games ‘cuz no one wants to feel left out. And try to stay away from Super Tecmo Bowl because only one person gets Bo Jackson and that shit is rigged!
While relationship games aren’t a substitute for couples therapy, they can be a great way to connect in between visits with the therapist.
If Barbie and Ken are still together after first meeting way back in 1961, then there’s hope for us all to have long-lasting and fulfilling relationships, and playing some games can help.
How can games help bond a couple?
Studies have confirmed that forming attachments involves the hormone oxytocin. In addition, they have shown that this “cuddle hormone” can increase trust and has a calming effect — decreasing stress, anxiety and fear; when couples do recreational activities together, oxytocin levels are elevated.
What games can a couple play to bond more deeply?
From the serious to the silly to the sexual, here’s a collection of games that are sure to bring you closer together — and maybe even get your fires burning hotter… wink wink, nudge nudge.
Would You Rather?
This is a game of hypothetical questions where players choose which of two scenarios they’d rather do. Players take turns asking each other questions starting with “Would you rather…” and ending with two different scenarios. For example, “Would you rather have to wear ski goggles for the rest of your life or wear a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-style eye mask for the rest of your life?” The questions can be thoughtful, silly or completely hypothetical, and are oftentimes a little wacky, silly and absurd. The idea is to get you talking, sharing, laughing and connecting over the answers.
36 Questions That Lead to Love
This quiz game was developed by psychologist Arthur Aron in a 1997 study at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. He was exploring whether intimacy between two perfect strangers could be accelerated. The objective of his study was to explore the social psychology of relationships and create closeness, and it worked. One of his first test pairs got married six months later! Try it for yourself and see what bonds it strengthens between you and your partner.
5 Love Language Quiz
The creators of this game say that you can take this quiz to discover your primary love language, what it means and how you can use it to better connect with your loved ones.
The premise is simple: different people with different personalities demonstrate and receive love in different ways. By learning to recognize these preferences in yourself and in your partner, you can learn to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly and truly begin to grow closer.
When couples read The 5 Love Languages, they discover why they lost the romantic feelings of courtship and how emotional love can be rekindled in their relationship. Once they begin speaking each other’s primary love language, they are surprised to see how quickly their emotions turn positive.
If you want to give it a try, you may want to start with their digital app.
Pit and Peak of the Day
This nighttime conversation starter is a great way to share your favorite/least favorite or best/worst parts or moments from each day. If you play it every day, you’ll see patterns develop in your partner’s answers and will learn about their likes and dislikes quickly. Use this knowledge for good not evil LOL.
The conversations that stem from each person’s Pit almost always includes additional points of view as to how the Pit can be transformed into a Peak. The goal is to fill in the Pits and build them into Peaks while making the Peaks even higher. When you are helping each other improve your overall days, you’ll also be improving your bond.
The 7 Breath-forehead Connection
This one is less of a game and more of an exercise, but it’s an excellent way to take your mind off of what is happening around you and focus on your partner. It will put you and your person into an intimate, connected space. Practice it whenever you feel the need to slow down and refocus on each other.
Face each other and gently put your foreheads together. Close your eyes, then breathe in and out as slowly and deeply as you can. Most people begin to feel a benefit by around the 7th breath, but you should feel free to do as many as you like.
When you do this with your partner, you naturally feel more connected and more in sync because you’re physically aligning and creating a rhythm together. Don’t be surprised if you feel like kissing or holding each other after trying this technique.
Seeing Eye to Eye
This exercise is similar but doesn’t have to involve physical touch. When two people gaze into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, they can develop deeper trust and greater intimacy and mutual attraction. Several studies have shown that eye-gazing brings couples closer and ultimately enhances sex because extended eye-gazing releases compounds in the brain associated with long-term bonding and attachment.
Here’s the science behind it: prolonged eye contact spurs the nervous system to release oxytocin as well as phenylethylamine, which is called the “love chemical,” a neurotransmitter involved in feelings of interpersonal attraction.
There’s no guarantee that this little exercise will bring you closer or prime you for sizzling sex. For some people, it doesn’t. But most couples find that eye gazing reduces interpersonal tensions and makes partners more attractive and more erotically alluring.
Marriage Retreat in a Box
While many of these games are self-directed and don’t require you to purchase anything, there are some good options on the market for card prompt type games. The Marriage Retreat in a Box retails for less than the cost of a fancy dinner or a hotel room for the weekend, but many couples have proclaimed it to be the best part of their date nights.
Through engaging exercises, learning moments, powerful questions and conversation starters, you’ll be led toward the conversations that help shape the most important parts of your lives together.
This bonding game for couples is a great resource for checking in and level-setting with your partner.
Escape Rooms
Doing an escape room can be a more covert way of accomplishing some of the same things all that talking does. You’ll work on communication and teamwork of course, but don’t forget there’s a game administrator watching your every move on closed circuit television, so keep it kosher.
Now uber popular state-side, escape rooms originated in Japan and exploded in popularity across Asia and Europe before debuting in the United States in 2012.
Players discover clues, solve puzzles and accomplish tasks in one or more rooms in order to accomplish a specific goal in a limited amount of time. The goal is often to escape from the site of the game.
For couples, escape rooms require cooperation, teamwork and also understanding your partner’s nonverbal cues or weaknesses, essential factors to helping each other. And as you get to know each other, they can also help deepen a relationship.
Whether you do it for a first date or to rekindle your relationship, an escape room might be just the ticket to bonding with your partner.
Adventure Challenge Connection Cards: In Bed Edition
Now, let’s spice it up.
This one’s a card game, making it the perfect size for road trips or tossing in your weekend getaway bag. Each of the cards has prompts that will get you to break out of boring habits and are aimed at improving your sex life. The 50 cards vary from confidence-boosting queries to adventurous sexual thought starters.
Unique questions and prompts will inspire out-of-the-box conversations and enhance your sex life with your partner, thanks to the work that the game makers sex-and-relationships experts have done researching and studying some of the best and most enjoyable conversations couples have.
Judging from the reviews, it’s worked wonders for all sorts of romantic relationships. Take it on your next holiday to Scarsdale and maybe come back with some candid photography… know what I mean, know what I mean, say no more!
Recommended Reading: Is Premarital Counseling Right for Us?
